happy drizzly days

Well, I'm back at uni. And, as expected, I now can't imagine ever having been away. I've had all manner of introductory talks today, designed to "induct" us back into uni life, and to impress on us the great importance of working hard.

Honestly though, this year is my last at uni - and this is the one when I really really will be organised. I will start (or, at least, start planning) essays as soon as they are set, I will become attached to my diary (which, to be fair, I did most of last year and as of becoming a member of Committee for CU it became somewhat of a necessity).

I love the beginnings of new academic years. When I think back to all the starts of new years I've had - all the pencil cases bought, all the pencils sharpened and diaries purchased and then abandoned, all the new umbrellas and ill-advised winter hats - it's really incredible to think that this is the last time (at least for the time being) that I'll be doing it all.

For the last 15 years of my life, September has come around, my birthday's been celebrated, then I've gone back to school, then uni, and this is the last time!

Surrounded by all the new freshers, grinning and brandishing flyers and maps and freshers wristbands, while I trundle from one building to another sorting out module changes and handing in dissertation ideas, I can't help but feel... Well, old.

Last year I had a sense of at-home-ness, as though I knew the score and could join in with everything without the pressure of having to put myself out there and hope against hope that I would find someone who wouldn't mind hanging out with me and would find my idiosyncrases endearing.

This year I kind of feel more like I'm facilitating other people's start-of-year. And this has it's own set of charms: I can scan the crowds of people and see the familiar nervous furtive glances, and recognise the relief they feel when you go and chat and ask the familiar Big 3 ("where are you from?", "what are you studying?", "which Halls are you in?") - a breath of comforting air during probably the scariest and most exciting start-of-year that people will ever experience.

As a uni veteran I'm able to breeze around feeling confident and at home, and can enjoy being a chilled-out fish in a pretty big pond, before next year when I'll be the nervous newcomer again - trying to swim alongside even bigger fish.

angst

Well, I am in the foulest mood conceivable, and I'm not sure why really. 21 year-old blues? Who knows. I've got Fawlty Towers on in the background and even that isn't coaxing me out of my thunderous stupor.
Here are probable reasons for my ongoing outrage:

1. I inadvertently upset my mum this evening (a misunderstanding and has been rectified), and I hate upsetting my parents so that's left me feeling all cross with myself.
2. I suspect that I've had more than a few hormones blasting through my body for the past couple of days and they've finally reared their heads to bite me on the bum.
3. I'm going back to uni on Sunday - which I love and am really looking forward to - but leaving home is always a bit of a wrench, no matter how many times I do it.
4. There are still some things outstanding to be organised for Freshers' Week and they're weighing on my mind.

It's a pretty feeble list really now I look at it. Yet still the mood rages on. I'll wait until I'm in a better mood before I blog again - even I can't bear this whinging. Here is my advice to myself:

1. Sorry Mum.
2. Get a grip.
3. Bite the bullet.
4. So get on with it!

I think I need an early night.

sarnie of your dreams

I literally cannot get enough of this.

It's making me salivate just looking at that picture. I've just had two sarnies using that bread, and I am seriously considering a third. Ach, no, I can't. I apologise profusely that I have nothing interesting to say - this bread has single-handedly removed any sensible thought from my head.

More from me once I've hidden the bread bin.

20 frivolous memories

So, most of this morning has been spent - productively, naturally - watching Trinny and Susannah Undress the Nation. For the uninitiated, this programme's basic premise is snatching women with shattered self-esteem off the street, locking them in a fluorescent, mirrored cube of horror, crushing their spirits and reducing them to tears, before whizzing them off on a dazzling shopping trip and single-handedly restoring their confidence and repairing their marriages. Excellent stuff.

Aside from that, it's my birthday coming up and, predictably, it's got me feeling all cheesy and retrospective. I'll be 21 in two days, an adult in the eyes of all the oldies, officially able to drink in America and, well, I'm a good couple of years away from my teenage era. So, in typical blogger fashion, here are a few of the things I've done in the last year:

1. I entered the real, adult world of online banking.  Not only that, but I started paying bills. Real bills. And when I call my electricity suppliers, they don't ask if my mum's at home.
2. I voted in the general election. I woke up after hours of trying to stay up to watch the whole thing unfold, to a text from Lou saying: "You are waking up to a Tory government." Then, a few minutes later: "Ok, forget that. I read it wrong."
3. I opened a Twitter account. And a Flickr. And a Dailybooth. And I shamefully neglect all but one.
4. I cut my hair short, dyed it black (because there wasn't any brown dye in the shop), ignoring all sensible advice to the contrary. And I've stuck with it.
5. I read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and in so doing discovered my fictional home-from-home.
6. I received a brand new laptop. Which eventually broke. Which I was then conned out of 17o quid to get fixed (which it wasn't). But it was through this circuitous route that I became acquainted with the unadulterated technological love affair of my life (my MacBook), and shouted at the crook in the repair shop with all manner of spectacular righteous anger and dissatisfaction.
7. I managed to gradually acquire 100 YouTube subscribers - one of whom managed to find me on Facebook and left me such a sweet "I'm a fan from YouTube" comment on my wall (which sufficiently impressed my housemates and made me go all giggly).
8. I was about 2 feet away from the Queen for about 30 seconds, which was enough to make me burst into tears.
9. On 15th September 2009, I was genuinely in love. The relationship ended in the months that followed, and it's taken much of the rest of this year to reach the point where I don't operate under a constant state of pain. But now I can say I'm glad it ended - because on 15th September 2010 I will have re-learned to be comfortable on my own, and hopefully won't make the same mistakes again.
10. I pierced my ear, again.
11. I seriously considered getting a tattoo, and still think I might. Perhaps it'll be something I do when I'm 21 - a delicious age when I really should know better.
12. I started the year in the black, then slipped into the red, then crawled back into the black.
13. I went into Boots looking for a pair of glasses, telling the lady: "Basically, I want to look like Jim Royle from The Royle Family", which she found highly amusing.
14. I went into the local brand new Hollister shop. Twice. Yet despite scoffing and sniggering my way through the entire experience, there was a little bit of me that was disappointed that the topless male models weren't there.
15. I mastered the art of a truly beautiful red velvet cake. Then planned my future wedding around it.
16. I went from being a Hallgroup Leader, to a Committee Member, and wondered how it all happened so fast.
17. I bought a ukulele, and am 2 songs through the 5 that I swore I'd learn.
18. I bought more bunches of flowers, cinema tickets, and packets of fizzy Haribo than I'd care to remember.
19. I sold out and gave in to the pull of the iPod, which I guess after my ongoing romance with the MacBook was fairly inevitable really.
20. I started thinking seriously about what I'll be doing this time next year after realising that - as much as I'd like to - I can't stay in uni forever. But I also realised that maybe it'll all be ok, and the big scary world isn't too scary after all.

It's been a full, dazzling, heartbreaking, thrilling, hilarious and magnificent year. I hope I've done it justice.

recap

Oh hello blog, you lovely thing. It's been a while.

Well, now that I'm back home after almost 3 weeks without internet I thought I'd tell you just what I've been doing in the mean time. It has been a good 3 weeks!

Ok, first week I was on a barge on the Oxfordshire canal, which was bea-utiful. We became expert storm-dodgers and, if I do say so myself, I was soon steering the boat like a pro, even in the pouring rain:

An amusing incident on the barge: I was steering fairly early in the morning and looking like a real bargee, when I looked to my feet and saw the hatch down to the engine, and noticed a small brass sign next to it explaining what it was. Now, for my somewhat immature mind, this sign turned out to be more than I could bear to keep to myself. I called to my brother at the front of the barge: "Oi Tom, there's a funny sign on the barge!" He asked me what it said, and I bellowed out over the noise of the engine: "It says FUEL COCK BELOW!" Then fell about in helpless hysterics. It wasn't until cruel coincidence caused me to turn round that I saw the old bloke on the tow path that was out walking his dog, looking at me in surprised amusement and pity as I rolled about the deck cackling like a schoolgirl. I was so embarrassed that, naturally, I went and hid in the toilet for the next half hour.

So, the week after the barge we went to stay in a cottage in Dorset (in Lulworth Cove, if you're interested). The weather was much better that week, and we went on plenty of day trips to explore everything around. One of the highlights of the week was when we went sea kayaking - it was incredible! I would so recommend it if you haven't done it before. Tom and I shared a kayak, and we were crashing through waves and dodging in and out of rocks and caves - whistling the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack, naturally.

Another highlight was our trip to Lulworth Castle for the annual jousting festival - where I learned that not only do I need a boyfriend, but he must be of the armour-wearing "I-shall-win-this-tournament-for-your-honour" type.

Needless to say, the baddie knight ("Lord Odious", as it happened) was my favourite, and - I am ashamed to say - without any other appropriate favour to give him (women used to give knights handkerchiefs and things to show their favour during the jousts) I was seriously considering removing my bra to give him in a moment of madness, but it seems a young girl beat me to the underwear offering:

She was on her dad's shoulders next to us and told him she wanted to give him her spare pair of knickers. On ascertaining that it was in fact the baddie that she wanted to favour, he said amusingly: "I'm not sure if I approve of this!" 

The final highlight, was the Anniversary of the Battle of Britain Air Show in Duxford. Man, I have never seen anything like it. So many World War II planes - they had sixteen Spitfires flying together! And I'm no fighter plane expert but I'm told that's rather a big deal. Of course, the Red Arrows are always a big hit with me.

So, this brings us on to this week, where I have been at Forum 2010, organised by UCCF (the national organisation of Christian Unions in universities). It was one of the most incredible weeks ever, honestly. The teaching was fantastic (click here to listen to any of them - Graham Daniels' talk was particularly brilliant) and we all learned to much and got really fired up for going back to uni and organising our CU freshers events. I nearly lost my voice from all the singing we did! Picture it: pitch black outside - no clouds but loads of stars, a huge marquee and a thousand students belting it out so that you can hardly hear your own voice. So good. So so good!

So, here I am - complete with a host of new books from Forum, a miniature model of a Red Arrow plane, and flip flop tan lines. It's been a mint few weeks!