in case I don't get chance to say it

Have a lovely Christmas. Lots of mince pies and crackers and sprouts and stuffing and family and smiling.

The works.

one of the more flowery outcrops of modern life

Such such splendid times. I love my blog (so much), and I have always loved YouTube, but I think I've fallen for YouTube even more deeply in the past few weeks.

I have added links to a few excellent channels in the "Some Things Extraordinary" list on the right - definitely worth a look.

I am not neglecting my blog, however, as I do adore it - but new realms of YouTubian possibility are revealing themselves in an exciting way.

If you're not a user of YouTube or just haven't really explored it much, I really encourage you to. Well worth it.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

And so it has :)

exciting

I have decided to embrace the world of "vlogging" (that's the video equivalent of blogging, for the unacquainted...). Huzzah!

Here is my first attempt:

my life currently

The probability of me being able to get to sleep any time in the next few hours is fairly low to be honest, so blogging is what I shall do.

Summarise my life over the last couple of days? Well, I've been dipping in and out of feeling pretty low, to relatively OK, to gritty and tragic again. An inordinate amount of time has been spent on Facebook (and trying not to be on Facebook), poetry has been read, Christmas tree has been decorated, and yet I have moped about, wished for things that can't be, and felt sorry for myself far more than I probably should.

I should really have been working on my two essays that are due in after the Christmas holidays - I did get a little bit of work done on one of them - but haven't really been able to concentrate much. Pathetic, I know.

A good thing that has come out of the past couple of days, however, is my acquisition of the soundtrack to the aforementioned Somers Town. Both the film and its soundtrack I literally cannot recommend enough. The music is only available by download (you can find the right site through the film's own website), but so so worth it. Just so lovely.

So, while I was inevitably moping about and debating whether to get out of bed this morning, I turned the album on and lay there grinning inanely. Trust me, it's fab.

As for this evening, I watched this film (for the millionth time) with my Mum with a bowl of soup and a hefty tub of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream. And that was lovely too.

Now? Well, I will try (and inevitably fail) not to linger around pointlessly on Facebook, and try instead to read my book, listen to my new album, and try to get a grip.

he knew his stuff

Though gay companions o'er the bowl

May dispel awhile the sense of ill;

Though pleasure stirs the maddening soul,

The heart -- the heart -- is lonely still.

- Byron

an explanation

I am now at home, so Monday's Faces and Leunig on Sunday will continue when I get back to Newcastle after the Christmas holidays (3rd of January).

But panic not, I shall rustle up something equally wonderful in the upcoming weeks...

well and truly

in the Christmas spirit now. I trotted off to Wilkinsons on Friday with a view to buying some serious decorations (well, as many as my impoverished student pocket could afford) - and this was the result:

Not bad, eh?

two cinema trips

The first:

Just lovely. Very beautiful film, full of colour and expression. Very sad, but to be expected given the true story, but very delicate and not over-sentimental. Not only that, but heroine is curvy enough to give us all hope of finding a tragic but beautiful Romantic poet out there.



The second:

Feel ashamed to admit it, but I really bloomin' enjoyed this one too. Perhaps not as heart-wrenching and gorgeous, but - I've got to hand it to them - it's certainly compelling. Left the cinema feeling all teen-angsty and as giddy as a 15 year-old, and inevitably in love with a werewolf. £4 well spent, I'd say.

Monday's Faces

Slightly belated, but here nonetheless. Here is this week's Monday Face:

Love this lady. Perhaps she's celebrating getting her first house? Who knows. I just love the little table with the tablecloth and plant - I wonder how long she took to decide what to put on the table?

I can identify with her pride over her house, something that just belongs to her. Recently, and rather pathetically perhaps, I've been overcome with a nesting urge - I cannee wait to get a house after uni and decorate it and make it all cosy.

Well, maybe when I do I can orchestrate a picture like this one and put it up here for all to see. Sounds like a plan...

A&E

Is where I spent the majority of tonight - waiting, for the most part - with my housemate, who we feared had appendicitis.

After a good hour waiting in the Walk-In Clinic she was seen by a doctor who then referred her to A&E to have more tests. After another hour she was whisked away by a burly nurse and I was confined to the taupe waiting room, with nothing but "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" for company. Well, and an old chap who, by this point, I'd befriended through mutual disapproval of Alicia Keys' outfit on X Factor which - we decided - "left little to the imagination."

Minutes past. No sign of cramp-riddled housemate.

Meanwhile, all the flotsam and jetsam from the streets of Newcastle teemed in with maladies aplenty, and huddled round the stark television screen. Last to arrive were two gentlemen - who, I can only assume, hadn't been under a solid roof for the best part of a decade - closely accompanied by a most pungent aroma of various bodily functions.

And of course, with the night already having turned out a stunner, the only remaining seat was next to me. "Oh, huzzah", thought I.

The next hour fair ticked by, with the hacking cough emitted from my bench-fellow shaking the very foundations of my existence, and the healthy snores and grunts emanating from his friend (who, from what I could see, was suffering from nothing more than a cut finger) after having promptly fallen asleep after his arrival.

Eventually, housemate emerged, brandishing what were apparently essentially cranberry-tablets, triumphant after the care and bedside manner of a "cute doctor" with tortoise-shell glasses.

That went down a treat, I can tell you.

Leunig on Sunday

(all credits to Leunig)

God bless the lost, the confused,

the unsure, the bewildered, the puzzled,

the mystified, the baffled, and the perplexed.

Amen.

two steps back

and here I am again

Monday's Faces

On the back:

 My father:- Robt Maughan.
Photograph taken Llandudno
Summer 1922 'Craig-y-Don Hotel.'
Dad had just returned from London, having
played bowles for England
against the Australians.

apologies

A horrible, horrible week. But I am getting a grip and will be back with Monday's Faces this afternoon.

stupid

I was walking back from the Metro today and was watching a couple of men in hi-vis vests spraying graffiti off a wall. I then missed my turning, but there was someone behind me so I felt stupid turning back, so I made the next turn and realised that the pavement disappeared into the road of oncoming traffic.

Panic ensues. I then decide, "ooh, I know, I'll pretend that I got a call from a cool and interesting person asking me to meet them somewhere, hence requiring that I turn round and walk back." I proceed to walk back and make the right turn I should have made in the first place, while jabbering away down the phone to an imaginary person. Another guy is then walking towards me on the pavement - I'm still talking, giggling, and doing realistic facial expressions down the phone.

Then it rings. And the bloke looks at me. And I feel very stupid.

on the metro

The other day I saw an old couple (the husband was in a wheelchair) sat on the metro to the coast. They weren't talking, just sitting there quietly. But then the wife brought out a tube of Jaffa Cakes and peeled the lid off. She inhaled the smell of them deeply, and said a soundless "oooh." Grinning, she gave the tube to her husband and he smelled them too and they chuckled and enjoyed the smell together.

I hope when I'm old and on the metro I'll have someone to share the smell of Jaffa Cakes with.

Monday's Faces

What a sweet couple. Just lovely. Slightly shy, she's not sure what to do with her hands, he's not sure whether to hold her arm. Newly married perhaps?

Detail on the back of this one: they're called Arthur and Julia.

our visitor

I had forgotten to post about the familiar face I saw on Northumberland Street on Friday.

It was extraordinary. I cried, of course. She had come to officially open the Great North Museum, and I think she visited Princess Eugenie too.

It was honestly so strange, she's such a familiar face but seeing her in person was quite surreal - and very unexpected!

little brother

Came to visit this weekend. Completely marvellous couple of days, cannee wait til Christmas now.

Leunig on Sunday

(all credits to Leunig)

God help us to change. To change ourselves and to change our world. To know the need for it. To deal with the pain of it. To feel the joy of it. To undertake the journey without understanding the destination. The art of gentle revolution.

Amen.

ach

Fairly uninspired of late, it has to be said.

Possibly due to the fact that whenever I do anything that isn't tackling my essay I can't help but feel as though I should be tackling my essay.

Still, tomorrow is Bonfire Night: bangers and mash all round and a nice helping of spectacular fireworks should get the creative juices flowing.

Here are a couple of moments from last year:

some gems

Yum to Tynemouth Market! My room is gradually becoming a "collection"...

Monday's Faces

Found this one here at the weekend. After promising myself I wouldn't buy any more for a good while, I couldn't resist it.

I think the friends of the chap on the left would describe him as "indomitable."

Leunig on Sunday

(all credits to Leunig)

Dear God,

Give comfort and peace to those who are separated from their loved ones. May the ache in their hearts be the strengthening of their hearts. May their longing bring resolve to their lives, conviction and purity to their love. Teach them to embrace their sadness lest it turn to despair. Transform their yearning into wisdom. Let their hearts grow fonder.

Amen

tonight

I went here with my theatre-buddy to see this. It was bloomin' fantastic - incredible deconstructing and reassembling of the Romeo and Juliet story.

can't get enough of this

“I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute”

-- Rebecca West (1913)

by our gatepost

I was in two minds as to whether or not to take my camera with me today - my bag was full and heavy with the major works of Shelley (well worth a place in my bag but fairly cumbersome nonetheless) and it was a bit of a squeeze.

But when I got to our gatepost - the gate having apparently long since gone - I was glad I brought it.

I've been meaning to take a picture of this flower for weeks. It's amazing. I don't know what kind it is, but it's open during the day, and then if it's too cold or it's night it closes up again.

I've become very fond of it actually, and keep an eye out for it every morning.

It's probably some kind of weed, but not to me. Today it made all the difference in the world.

Monday's Faces

I get the impression that they didn't hold hands very often. But then, perhaps his father didn't used to hold his hand either.

Leunig on Sunday

A little late, I know.

(All credits to Leunig)

God bless those who suffer from the common cold.
Nature has entered into them;
Has led them aside and gently lain them low
To contemplate life from the wayside;
To consider human frailty;
To receive deep and dreamy messages of fever.
We give thanks for the insights of
this humble perspective.
We give thanks for blessings in disguise.

Amen.

somers town

A brilliant film, completely lovely. Directed by Shane Meadows (of "This is England" fame) and so delicate.

Let's hear it for British film.

oh, the indignity...

(brilliant graffiti at my local Metro station - now an all-too-unpleasant reality...)

Well, it's official. Called NHS Direct this morning and was told I have swine flu. Marvellous.

Boyfriend soon to be dispatched to collect necessary tamiflu and warned to stay well and truly at arm's length.

I, on the other hand, must stay in bed (how I curse the wretched thing!) and shun any kind of human company for forseeable future. Mind you, given that I only got 2 hours sleep last night in between fits of coughing and nose-blowing I could, I don't know, catch up on some sleep perhaps.

Oh yipee.

breath of fresh air

The wonderful aforementioned Sophie left a voicemail on my mobile last night reading an extract of a poem to me. It cheered me up no end, amidst my great sea of tissues and ibuprofen:

These I have loved:
White plates and cups, clean-gleaming,
Ringed with blue lines; and feathery, faery dust;
Wet roofs, beneath the lamp-light; the strong crust
Of friendly bread; and many-tasting food;
Rainbows; and the blue bitter smoke of wood;
And radiant raindrops couching in cool flowers;
And flowers themselves, that sway through sunny hours,
Dreaming of moths that drink them under the moon;
Then, the cool kindliness of sheets, that soon
Smooth away trouble; and the rough male kiss
Of blankets; grainy wood; live hair that is
Shining and free; blue-massing clouds; the keen
Unpassioned beauty of a great machine;
The benison of hot water; furs to touch;
The good smell of old clothes; and other such
The comfortable smell of friendly fingers,
Hair's fragrance, and the musty reek that lingers
About dead leaves and last year's ferns...

From "The Great Lover" by Rupert Brooke

sick sick sick

Ach, I feel dreadful. This is now the second day of lectures and seminars I've had to miss...

Can't even bring myself to blog about something colourful or interesting.

Very unhappy and snotty...

Monday's Faces

No description on the back of this one. My eye is drawn to the lady on the left - Elsie, I reckon. Not too clear where they are either, but looks as though they could be in a boat. The lady on the right looks a tad insipid - lately jilted perhaps?

I think Elsie has taken her out for the day to cheer her up, and "get her some fresh air." I think Elsie is the type of lady who would insist on rowing the boat, and when she got together with her friends would say she was having "a night with the girls."

a splash of colour

In the Metro station. Cheered me up and made me feel all sunny even though it's bloomin' freezing out now. It reminded me of here a bit as well, not sure why, but made me smile and feel a little warm and fuzzy.

the big date

Leunig on Sunday

(All credits to Leunig)

Dear God,

We give thanks for the darkness of the night where lies the world of dreams. Guide us closer to our dreams so that we may be nourished by them. Give us strong dreams and memory of them so that we may carry their poetry and mystery into our daily lives.

Grant us deep and restful sleep that we may wake refreshed with strength enough to renew a world grown used.

We give thanks for the inspiration of stars, the dignity of the moon, and the lullabies of crickets and frogs.

Let us restore the night and reclaim it as a sanctuary of peace, where silence shall be music to our hearts, and darkness shall throw light upon our souls. Good night. Sweet dreams.

Amen

thank you sunshine

You've made my freesias blossom. They were a present from someone I like quite a lot.

all better

A little of this and a little of that and I'm in love with the world again

this afternoon

I went from feeling fairly OK about myself, to feeling like a bloated and corpulent sow within just one solitary stinking hour.

It was all grossly unfair. There I was, doing some innocent bra/jeans shopping, just trying things on in the changing room, and there it was: a gargantuan ape of a creature staring back at me from the mirror in the corner of my cubicle. Not only was it foul to the eye, but it also appeared to require inhuman swathes of material to cover its porcine frame - and even then it was left able to only crush one leg into the insufficient acreage of denim. Horror of horrors, its face looked familiar.

I left the shop with no bras, no jeans, and in a thunderous mood. Only when they've got us under their hideous fluorescent lightbulbs, half naked and tottering about with one leg in our jeans, in a cubicle of roughly the same dimensions as a shoebox, loathing ourselves and our now astonishingly close resemblance to an ox, do they have us where they really want us.

Retail therapy my bum.

Monday's Faces

Quite a find I made today. I had an hour to kill between lectures so I found myself wandering up a narrow flight of stairs to a local antique shop and having a hunt around. There were was a fair brilliant range of trinkets and "objets" as my dad would say.

But the thing that caught my eye was a box of postcards and photographs labelled "subjects" for 25p each. Trying to stifle my excitement I asked the shopkeeper (who looked very dapper in a suit) if he could open the cabinet for me.

I spent the next half hour searching through the box of absolute treasure and beaming with happiness. Some had scribbled dates and places on the back, some had detailed descriptions in neat hand, others had nothing - allowing me the pleasure of imagining.

I bought 13 cards today and fully intend to go back for more soon. I tell you, looking at those black and white and sepia faces really bloomin cheered me up. And, as Mondays can often be fairly dour, I'll share a face a week with you. I hereby announce with great pleasure the first "Monday's Face":


No detail on the back other than the print "Carta Postala Italiana", but I like to think she was a dancer called Maria and she saved that sequin skirt for her dance sessions and nothing else.

I love the way she's stood so awkwardly and her face is slightly blurred with movement, as though she turned her head at the last minute - perhaps because she felt embarrassed in front of the camera. She's not got model looks, but I'll bet the only time she felt truly beautiful was when she was dancing.

Leunig on Sunday

I bought this book by the cartoonist, Leunig, this summer, and I think it's bloomin brilliant.

I've been gradually reading it through, but I'd like to share it with people. So, every Sunday, I'm going to blog it - bit by bit. So here goes...

(All credits to Leunig)

God help us to live slowly
To move simply
To look softly
To allow emptiness
To let the heart create for us.

Amen.

last night

I fell in love with Newcastle again. Me and a couple of friends wandered through Chinatown to get some spring rolls, then down to the quayside to The Red House - my favourite pub ever.

Newcastle at night, I just love it all: Grey Street with its curved buildings and the Theatre Royal, the cobbly streets as you get closer to the quayside, the Geordies dressed to the nines on their way out, the little lights along the river, the queues by Monument to get into the clubs, the nine-things-to-do-in-Newcastle benches.

What a place - what a home.

Mrs. Tiggywinkle

It has come to my attention that, worryingly enough, I am becoming incredibly domesticated. Seriously. I just brought my washing in from the line, and found myself burying my face in it and smelling that just-washed-and-dried-outside-in-fresh-air smell. Oh dear...

a present

We had our official housewarming party yesterday evening and my friend, the lovely Sophie, brought me this birdy dress which she had cunningly and skilfully charity-shopped for me - thank you sweet Sophie!